NATURE STRIKES BACK The "Birds" Movie is Really Happening Prepare Yourselves for Attack! You've probably seen The Birds, an Alfred Hitchcock movie. It's a nature strikes back movie wherein thousands of crows go on the warpath against people hiding in a school house. Some call it a horror movie. Vicious attacks by birds on humans. Lots of blood. But that's a movie that is now coming true. Yeah, really. Would we kid you? But it's turkeys on the warpath, not crows. Birds have had enough of this we eating them stuff. They want revenge. They want to eat us. Especially turkeys. Yeah, turkeys eat people. In Teaneck, New Jersey in 2016, a family was enjoying a peaceful dinner. Don't know if it was a turkey dinner or not. Then, a wild turkey commando crashed through their window and attacked the diners. The family members ran for their lives with the turkey after them. That must have been one really angry turkey. And there was the vicious attack on the mail carrier in 2009 in Grand Haven, Michigan. A gang of turkeys chased a mail carrier and cornered him on someone's porch. He couldn't leave. He was trapped. He had to call the postmaster for backup. Presumably, other mail carriers came and saved him just before the turkeys made their final assault and had the mail carrier as an afternoon snack. There is no question about it. We are at war with turkeys. So what can you do? Well, you can go on a turkey search and destroy mission. There are wild turkeys in our area on farms and in wooded areas. Set up a search grid and scout for a turkey. When you find one, attack it before it attacks you. However, if there is a flock of turkeys, perhaps you should retreat and call for backup. If being GI Joe in the turkey conflict isn't your thing, there are other ways to help the war effort. For one, you can open a CD at First Secure Bank. If you open a 9 month CD paying 5.3% apy or a 13 month CD paying 5.0% apy, of at least $2,500, you will receive one of the highest interest rates in the area. You will also get a free turkey. No, we won't give you the bird. But we will give you a $25 Jewel gift certificate and Jewel will give you the bird. That's one less turkey storm trooper that humanity will need to worry about. But you better hurry cause this offer ends on Wednesday, November 22nd, the day before Thanksgiving. FIRST SECURE COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank, we're your neighbor! Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Billion Dollar Community Bank 2398 Essington Rd (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) (815) 230-8000 Visit 1stsecurebank.com MEMBER FDIC EQUAL HOUSING LENDER Free Thanksgiving Turkey!* We'll buy your Thanksgiving Turkey* when you purchase one of these CDs of at least $1000. 5.30% 9 month CD 5.00% 13 month CD Offer ends 11/22/23. Joliet Location Only. "You will receive a $25 Jewel gift card that you can use to purchase your Turkey or other items. "Annual Percentage Yield (APY) effective as of 11/4/23. APY and terms are subject to change at any time and without notice. Minimum balance to open and receive stated APY is $1,000. Minimum balance to open and receive stated APY and Jewel Certificate is $2,500. Maximum of 1 certificate per household. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings. Maximum per household $500,000. CDs will rollover at maturity to the then current rate, if not redeemed at maturity, as follows: the 13 month CD will rollover to a 12 month CD, the 9 month CD will rollover to a 6 month CD. NATURE STRIKES BACK The " Birds " Movie is Really Happening Prepare Yourselves for Attack ! You've probably seen The Birds , an Alfred Hitchcock movie . It's a nature strikes back movie wherein thousands of crows go on the warpath against people hiding in a school house . Some call it a horror movie . Vicious attacks by birds on humans . Lots of blood . But that's a movie that is now coming true . Yeah , really . Would we kid you ? But it's turkeys on the warpath , not crows . Birds have had enough of this we eating them stuff . They want revenge . They want to eat us . Especially turkeys . Yeah , turkeys eat people . In Teaneck , New Jersey in 2016 , a family was enjoying a peaceful dinner . Don't know if it was a turkey dinner or not . Then , a wild turkey commando crashed through their window and attacked the diners . The family members ran for their lives with the turkey after them . That must have been one really angry turkey . And there was the vicious attack on the mail carrier in 2009 in Grand Haven , Michigan . A gang of turkeys chased a mail carrier and cornered him on someone's porch . He couldn't leave . He was trapped . He had to call the postmaster for backup . Presumably , other mail carriers came and saved him just before the turkeys made their final assault and had the mail carrier as an afternoon snack . There is no question about it . We are at war with turkeys . So what can you do ? Well , you can go on a turkey search and destroy mission . There are wild turkeys in our area on farms and in wooded areas . Set up a search grid and scout for a turkey . When you find one , attack it before it attacks you . However , if there is a flock of turkeys , perhaps you should retreat and call for backup . If being GI Joe in the turkey conflict isn't your thing , there are other ways to help the war effort . For one , you can open a CD at First Secure Bank . If you open a 9 month CD paying 5.3 % apy or a 13 month CD paying 5.0 % apy , of at least $ 2,500 , you will receive one of the highest interest rates in the area . You will also get a free turkey . No , we won't give you the bird . But we will give you a $ 25 Jewel gift certificate and Jewel will give you the bird . That's one less turkey storm trooper that humanity will need to worry about . But you better hurry cause this offer ends on Wednesday , November 22nd , the day before Thanksgiving . FIRST SECURE COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank , we're your neighbor ! Joliet's Locally - Owned and Locally - Managed Billion Dollar Community Bank 2398 Essington Rd ( Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd ) ( 815 ) 230-8000 Visit 1stsecurebank.com MEMBER FDIC EQUAL HOUSING LENDER Free Thanksgiving Turkey ! * We'll buy your Thanksgiving Turkey * when you purchase one of these CDs of at least $ 1000 . 5.30 % 9 month CD 5.00 % 13 month CD Offer ends 11/22/23 . Joliet Location Only . " You will receive a $ 25 Jewel gift card that you can use to purchase your Turkey or other items . " Annual Percentage Yield ( APY ) effective as of 11/4/23 . APY and terms are subject to change at any time and without notice . Minimum balance to open and receive stated APY is $ 1,000 . Minimum balance to open and receive stated APY and Jewel Certificate is $ 2,500 . Maximum of 1 certificate per household . Substantial penalty for early withdrawal . An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings . Maximum per household $ 500,000 . CDs will rollover at maturity to the then current rate , if not redeemed at maturity , as follows : the 13 month CD will rollover to a 12 month CD , the 9 month CD will rollover to a 6 month CD .