Advertisement

Ad promo image large
  • Published Date

    April 9, 2021
    This ad was originally published on this date and may contain an offer that is no longer valid. To learn more about this business and its most recent offers, click here.

Ad Text

ZOMBIE APOCALYPS! In Joliet ..... Here..... Now Watch Out. Or they'll get ya You know what Zombies are. You can see them on several cable channels. There is probably one zombie movie or weekly episode on every night. Zombies are ... the undead. They walk around in a haze looking for people to do bad things to. Well, it's not just on television. Monster CD Rates Zombies are really here! Hey, this is serious. So serious, in fact, that the CDC has issued Zombie Preparedness guidelines. Yes, the CDC, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The same federal govemment entity that is saving us from the Covid virus is spending our tax dollars producing information about preparing for zombies. I tried to find out if there was any record of Dr. Fauci talking about Zombies but he apparently has his hands full with the Covid virus. 55% .35 APY The Cambridge Dictionary describes a zombie as "someone who moves around as if unconscious and being controlled by someone else." And that definition is from Cambridge, the university in England that has been around since 1209. So it has to be true. They've had 800 years to study it. And when you think of it, it is true. Consider some of the bank branches in the Joliet area. They act like they are unconscious. They take your money and cash your checks ... as long as you have your number. Yes, your account number. Because that is all you are to them. An account number. And, they are controlled by someone else. Usually someone far away from Joliet at "headquarters." I wonder if the people at headquarters even know where Joliet is at? And, if you need anything from the local branch, they might as well be unconscious because they need to contact whomever is controling them for permission for most anything. Yep, the Joliet area is overun by the zombie banks. 25 Month CD APY 13 Month CD $1000 minimum to open So what do you want to do? Do you want to do business with a zombie bank branch that is unconscious to anything but your account number and is controlled by someone else that is who knows where? Or would you rather do business with Joliet's locally owned, locally managed, community bank? You're not an account number to us, you are a real person. And we aren't controlled by someone else, somewhere else. We are controled by us, night here in Joliet. Decisions are made here. So come on in and see us. Our lobby is open. And we promise, we aren't the undead. FREE Personal Checking Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank Lobby Open! During normal business hours. No minimum balance required No monthly service fee $100 minimum opening deposit Unlimited transactions Monthly statements (Choose paper or electronic) st 2398 Essington Rd (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) FIRST SECURE (815) 230-8000 FREE: Debit Card Online and Mobile Banking Bill Pay Visit 1stsecurebank.com COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET MEMBER We're not just your bank, we 're your neighbor! EQUAL THOUSING LENDER FDIC "Annual Percentage Yleld (APY) etfective as of 3/28/2021 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notice. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings. ZOMBIE APOCALYPS! In Joliet ..... Here..... Now Watch Out. Or they'll get ya You know what Zombies are. You can see them on several cable channels. There is probably one zombie movie or weekly episode on every night. Zombies are ... the undead. They walk around in a haze looking for people to do bad things to. Well, it's not just on television. Monster CD Rates Zombies are really here! Hey, this is serious. So serious, in fact, that the CDC has issued Zombie Preparedness guidelines. Yes, the CDC, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The same federal govemment entity that is saving us from the Covid virus is spending our tax dollars producing information about preparing for zombies. I tried to find out if there was any record of Dr. Fauci talking about Zombies but he apparently has his hands full with the Covid virus. 55% .35 APY The Cambridge Dictionary describes a zombie as "someone who moves around as if unconscious and being controlled by someone else." And that definition is from Cambridge, the university in England that has been around since 1209. So it has to be true. They've had 800 years to study it. And when you think of it, it is true. Consider some of the bank branches in the Joliet area. They act like they are unconscious. They take your money and cash your checks ... as long as you have your number. Yes, your account number. Because that is all you are to them. An account number. And, they are controlled by someone else. Usually someone far away from Joliet at "headquarters." I wonder if the people at headquarters even know where Joliet is at? And, if you need anything from the local branch, they might as well be unconscious because they need to contact whomever is controling them for permission for most anything. Yep, the Joliet area is overun by the zombie banks. 25 Month CD APY 13 Month CD $1000 minimum to open So what do you want to do? Do you want to do business with a zombie bank branch that is unconscious to anything but your account number and is controlled by someone else that is who knows where? Or would you rather do business with Joliet's locally owned, locally managed, community bank? You're not an account number to us, you are a real person. And we aren't controlled by someone else, somewhere else. We are controled by us, night here in Joliet. Decisions are made here. So come on in and see us. Our lobby is open. And we promise, we aren't the undead. FREE Personal Checking Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank Lobby Open! During normal business hours. No minimum balance required No monthly service fee $100 minimum opening deposit Unlimited transactions Monthly statements (Choose paper or electronic) st 2398 Essington Rd (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) FIRST SECURE (815) 230-8000 FREE: Debit Card Online and Mobile Banking Bill Pay Visit 1stsecurebank.com COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET MEMBER We're not just your bank, we 're your neighbor! EQUAL THOUSING LENDER FDIC "Annual Percentage Yleld (APY) etfective as of 3/28/2021 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notice. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal, An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings.