Advertisement

Ad promo image large
  • Published Date

    August 21, 2020
    This ad was originally published on this date and may contain an offer that is no longer valid. To learn more about this business and its most recent offers, click here.

Ad Text

Important Legal Documents SHRÉDDED!! Can the FBI be far behind? HA, HA - THE US ATTORNEY CAN'T SUBPOENA SOMETHING THAT NO LONGER EXISTS Monster CD Rates At the request of (redacted), we shredded important legal documents. And any of the documents that we shredded cannot now be produced for the FBI, US Attorney, States Attorney, US Marshals, Census Takers, CIA or any other government group. Why? Because we shredded them. All of them. There is nothing left. .80% What documents did we shred? We can't tell you. No, it's not that we won't tell you. We can't tell you. Because we didn't look. Last summer we had a Free Shred Day at First Secure Community Bank of Joliet. We had a shred truck in our parking lot. We took the boxes of APY documents that people brought over and threw them in the truck where they were viciously ground into oblivion. Scores of people brought boxes full of old documents. We suspect that 25 Month CD many of the documents were bank statements from other banks that people no longer wanted to look at. That's because, when they did look at them, they got angry when they saw the high .55* fees they were charged. APY Miss last year's Shred Day? Well, you're in luck. We are having another Free Shred Day on Saturday, August 29th. The shred truck will be in our parking lot from 10 AM to Noon. Bring in up to 5 boxes of documents and we'll shred them for you for free. You don't need to be a 13 Month CD customer. Just bring in up to 5 boxes of paper documents and . zappo, they will be turned into cat itter before your very eyes. Why will we do this for you if you are not a customer? Because we are Joliet's locally owned, locally managed community bank. So, customer or not, bring in your incriminating documents and we'll shred them for you. And, we won't tell anyone. $1000 minimum to open FREE Shred Event Saturday, August 29 10am - noon Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank 5 box limit Lobby Open! During normal business st 2398 Essington Rd (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) hours FIRST SECURE COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank, we're your neighbor! FREE Personal Checking Visit a branch for details. (815) 230-8000 Visit 1stsecurebank.com MEMBER FDIC EQUAL YOUSING LENDER "Annual Percentage Yleld (APY) effective as of 8/24/2020 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notioe. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings. Important Legal Documents SHRÉDDED!! Can the FBI be far behind? HA, HA - THE US ATTORNEY CAN'T SUBPOENA SOMETHING THAT NO LONGER EXISTS Monster CD Rates At the request of (redacted), we shredded important legal documents. And any of the documents that we shredded cannot now be produced for the FBI, US Attorney, States Attorney, US Marshals, Census Takers, CIA or any other government group. Why? Because we shredded them. All of them. There is nothing left. .80% What documents did we shred? We can't tell you. No, it's not that we won't tell you. We can't tell you. Because we didn't look. Last summer we had a Free Shred Day at First Secure Community Bank of Joliet. We had a shred truck in our parking lot. We took the boxes of APY documents that people brought over and threw them in the truck where they were viciously ground into oblivion. Scores of people brought boxes full of old documents. We suspect that 25 Month CD many of the documents were bank statements from other banks that people no longer wanted to look at. That's because, when they did look at them, they got angry when they saw the high .55* fees they were charged. APY Miss last year's Shred Day? Well, you're in luck. We are having another Free Shred Day on Saturday, August 29th. The shred truck will be in our parking lot from 10 AM to Noon. Bring in up to 5 boxes of documents and we'll shred them for you for free. You don't need to be a 13 Month CD customer. Just bring in up to 5 boxes of paper documents and . zappo, they will be turned into cat itter before your very eyes. Why will we do this for you if you are not a customer? Because we are Joliet's locally owned, locally managed community bank. So, customer or not, bring in your incriminating documents and we'll shred them for you. And, we won't tell anyone. $1000 minimum to open FREE Shred Event Saturday, August 29 10am - noon Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank 5 box limit Lobby Open! During normal business st 2398 Essington Rd (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) hours FIRST SECURE COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank, we're your neighbor! FREE Personal Checking Visit a branch for details. (815) 230-8000 Visit 1stsecurebank.com MEMBER FDIC EQUAL YOUSING LENDER "Annual Percentage Yleld (APY) effective as of 8/24/2020 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notioe. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings.