Advertisement

  • Published Date

    November 20, 2020
    Learn More, Click Here.

Ad Text

TURKEYS EAT PEOPLE! Gobble, Gobble, Chomp, Chomp... Gulp "The Birds" Movie is Real . with Turkeys Did you ever see the "The Birds"? It's an Alfred Hitchcock nature strikes back movie. In the movie, thousands of crows descend on a small town in California. They are all over the place. And they attack people. Granted, things in California are pretty weird. So are some of the pecple in California. But these birds didn't care. If you were there and the birds saw you, you would be lunch. FREE TURKEY OFFER! Well, it's really happening. Turkeys are tired of being meals. Now, turkeys think that it is their turn to eat people for Thanksgiving dinner, For real. Would we make this up? There are numerous instances of Turkey Bites Man. There was a story in USA Today on 11/11/19. That's shortly before Thanksgiving last year. It is titled "Wild Turkeys are terrorizing a town." The town is Asbury Park, N. J. The article quotes one person saying that "They have come close to harming my family and friends, ruined my cars, trashed my yard and much more." The article also says that the turkeys are biting and attacking people. They sound like pretty mean turkeys. Receive a FREE Thanksgiving turkey certificate from Jewel in the amount of $15 when you purchase a CD of $1,000 or higher, or a $30 certificate if you purchase a CD in the amount of $5,000 or higher. Offer ends 11/25/20. New money only. There are numerous other reports on the internet about turkey attacks. It's obvious. We are in a war. with turkeys. So what can you do? Well, you can go into the woods and, if you see a turkey, attack it before it attacks you. If Davy Crockett can grin a bear down, you can certainly handle a turkey. However, there are other ways that you can help the war effort. For one, you can open a CD at First Secure Community Bank. Why will that help? Because, if you open a 13 or 25 month CD of at least $1,000, we'll give you a $15 Jewel gift card. You can take it to Jewel and buy a turkey with it. That will reduce the turkey army by 1 soldier. However, if you are really patriotic, you can open a CD of $5,000 or more and we will give you two $15 certificates. With that, you can reduce the enemy by 2 turkey Storm Troopers. So what are you waiting for? You can open a CD with another bank and they won't even shake your hand. Or, you can do your part for humanity and open a CD at First Secure. But you'd better hurry. Our offer ends on Wednesday. November 25th, the day before Thanksgiving. Joliet Location Only. .55* APY Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank 25 Month CD Lobby Open! During normal business hours. st 2398 Essington (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) .45* APY FIRST SECURE (815) 230-8000 13 Month CD Visit 1stsecurebank.com COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank, we 're your neighbor! EQUAL THOUSING LENDER FDIC $1000 minimum to open Effective 11/14/20 Limit one gift card per household, Offer valid for new money not currently on deposit at First Secure Bank Annual Percentage Yield (APY) effective as of 109/2020 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notice. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings. TURKEYS EAT PEOPLE! Gobble, Gobble, Chomp, Chomp... Gulp "The Birds" Movie is Real . with Turkeys Did you ever see the "The Birds"? It's an Alfred Hitchcock nature strikes back movie. In the movie, thousands of crows descend on a small town in California. They are all over the place. And they attack people. Granted, things in California are pretty weird. So are some of the pecple in California. But these birds didn't care. If you were there and the birds saw you, you would be lunch. FREE TURKEY OFFER! Well, it's really happening. Turkeys are tired of being meals. Now, turkeys think that it is their turn to eat people for Thanksgiving dinner, For real. Would we make this up? There are numerous instances of Turkey Bites Man. There was a story in USA Today on 11/11/19. That's shortly before Thanksgiving last year. It is titled "Wild Turkeys are terrorizing a town." The town is Asbury Park, N. J. The article quotes one person saying that "They have come close to harming my family and friends, ruined my cars, trashed my yard and much more." The article also says that the turkeys are biting and attacking people. They sound like pretty mean turkeys. Receive a FREE Thanksgiving turkey certificate from Jewel in the amount of $15 when you purchase a CD of $1,000 or higher, or a $30 certificate if you purchase a CD in the amount of $5,000 or higher. Offer ends 11/25/20. New money only. There are numerous other reports on the internet about turkey attacks. It's obvious. We are in a war. with turkeys. So what can you do? Well, you can go into the woods and, if you see a turkey, attack it before it attacks you. If Davy Crockett can grin a bear down, you can certainly handle a turkey. However, there are other ways that you can help the war effort. For one, you can open a CD at First Secure Community Bank. Why will that help? Because, if you open a 13 or 25 month CD of at least $1,000, we'll give you a $15 Jewel gift card. You can take it to Jewel and buy a turkey with it. That will reduce the turkey army by 1 soldier. However, if you are really patriotic, you can open a CD of $5,000 or more and we will give you two $15 certificates. With that, you can reduce the enemy by 2 turkey Storm Troopers. So what are you waiting for? You can open a CD with another bank and they won't even shake your hand. Or, you can do your part for humanity and open a CD at First Secure. But you'd better hurry. Our offer ends on Wednesday. November 25th, the day before Thanksgiving. Joliet Location Only. .55* APY Joliet's Locally-Owned and Locally-Managed Community Bank 25 Month CD Lobby Open! During normal business hours. st 2398 Essington (Corner of Essington and Caton Farm Rd) .45* APY FIRST SECURE (815) 230-8000 13 Month CD Visit 1stsecurebank.com COMMUNITY BANK OF JOLIET We're not just your bank, we 're your neighbor! EQUAL THOUSING LENDER FDIC $1000 minimum to open Effective 11/14/20 Limit one gift card per household, Offer valid for new money not currently on deposit at First Secure Bank Annual Percentage Yield (APY) effective as of 109/2020 and terms are subject to change at anytime and without notice. Minimum balance to open and earn stated APY is $1,000. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. An early withdrawal penalty may reduce earnings.